The Maitre d’s Christmas Anime Spectacular

It should probably not surprise you, but The Maitre d’ likes his anime. This is because the Maitre d’ is an overweight, socially awkward geek. But he is not pasty-faced.

Now, the combination of anime and Christmas should surprise you. Christmas is a holiday steeped in the Western Christian tradition. And you know what happens when one culture makes references to another culture: they get something wrong. Very wrong. Think Evangelion‘s smattering of religious references.

(I’m not singling out any culture or nationality in particular here. This is a universal problem. We in America do the same thing when we talk about things from other cultures. Probably worse. How many stupid gaijin walk around in this country with Japanese lettering they don’t understand on their clothes, jewelry, and skin?)

You would, however, be surprised. The worst you’ll get is the bizarre Japanese idea that Americans eat fried chicken on Christmas. (Thanks for lying to them, KFC. You amazing marketing bastards.)

So, here’s a list of my favorite anime episodes that have to do with Christmas. And feel free to post your own–that’s why we have the comments section.

(OK, OK, I’m going to admit it. Some of these aren’t stellar Christmas episodes. But I do freaking love these series–so hold on, folks, and prepare for another fanboy rant, just like my Christmas music article.)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Chri… er, Heaven’s Day.

Man, those Salvation Army guys have
gotten really pushy.

Sorry Chef, these are nice tentacles

Can you feel the love tonight? No, you can’t,
because this plot thread never goes anywhere.

Norman is the Greatest. Butler. Ever.

The Big O – Daemonseed

What do you get when you give Batman a giant robot? The Big O is what you get. Set in a 20’s-esque future where everyone has lost their memories of the past, it’s pure pulpy sci-fi awesomeness.

This is a freaking awesome Christmas… erm, “Heaven’s Day” episode (as it’s called in Paradigm City). I’m not sure if the writers just didn’t understand the traditional symbols of Christmas, or decided that they wanted to repurpose them. But strangely, it works.

Early on in the episode, we meet Crazy Apocalyptic Street Preacher Santa. Crazy Apocalyptic Street Preacher Santa likes to hand out Crazy Apocalyptic Greeting Cards. Then we find out that he’s really a mad scientist environmental terrorist.

This Santa is no wuss. This Santa will kill you. Or at least he’ll hawk off a creepy looking gem to you. Here’s a hint, buddy: if a mentally unstable Santa tries to give you a present, YOU DO NOT TAKE IT. You should also not try to pawn it off on someone else by saying “It’s real nice and pretty, dontchathink?”

So anyway, Santa predicts the end of Paradigm City (which, in the world of Big O, is pretty much the world) on Heaven’s Day. And Saxophone Dude, who we meet early on in the episode, has the creepy Apocalyptic Santa Gem. So what does this mean?

Well, if your Santa’s an enviroterrorist, it means the gem’s going to sprout into a Tentacle Tree and wrap up the city. (The Chef may be saddened to know that it is made of tentacles, not naughty tentacles. There is a difference, and the difference is this show is classier than that.)

Anyway, the whole thing is, of course, resolved by Roger Smith and his giant robot.

And, this being a Christmas episode, we get more of the standard Roger-and-Dorothy relationship tease than normal. This is, of course, helped along with some trickery by Norman. Apparently, he can fix giant robots and hook you up with your robotic female houseguest. (Even now, I imagine The Chef is reading this, wondering if he could ever hire a butler who could manage those things.)

Speaking of Norman, this episode contains one of the several “Norman is an absolute freakin’ bad-arse” moments in the series. If you’re sent out to collect someone’s dry-cleaning during a kaiju attack, you might be a bit hesitant and ask for a tank.

Norman isn’t and Norman doesn’t.

Norman jumps on his motorcycle, drives directly into the center of the attack, through the dry cleaners, and escapes with the clerk in his sidecar.

Let it be said that Norman > Alfred from Batman.

Martian Successor Nadesico – Let’s Go Wtih Hot Blooded Anime!

When I was first planning this article, I was going to go on and on about how Martian Successor Nadesico was a wacky, funny anime. It’s a parody. It’s got all kinds of references to Evangelion, Gundam, and Star Trek.

But it’s been a couple of years since I’ve watched through it, and I forgot that the Christmas episode is depressing and full of plot. Lots of plot. And it’s a pretty decent plot. But this episode is a plot-heavy episode, and as such, starts out with a very large data dump of terms like Chulips and Aestivalises and boson jumping.

Now, if you happen to watch episode 14 (“Let’s Go With Hot Blooded Anime!”), then you get the wackiness. That’s the New Year’s episode, and since all of the animators are on vacation, it’s a clip show.

The greatest clip show you will ever watch.

It’s also the greatest clip show you will ever watch, because it’s the greatest show-within-a-show gag I have ever seen. In this episode, the characters from Gekigengar 3 (an anime that the characters aboard the Nadesico watch) are watching the episode of Nadesico.

And it’s a pretty wacky episode, because you have a bunch of the main characters explaining the plot of the show with their trademark gags (such as the captain in a bunny suit on a kid’s show, and the scientist woman who just loves spewing technobabble).

So, unless you want to watch the series, I would recommend skipping the Christmas episode. But if you don’t mind getting spoilers on the first half of the series, the New Year’s episode is a great holiday episode.