8 minute mark- I’m flipping through channels, and all of a sudden I see a bunch of white guys doing what I thought to be sign language. Then, I realized I saw a “W� in the background, which made me realize that they were members of the Wu-Tang Clan, and it wasn’t sign language, they were flashing gang signs!
10 minute mark- apparently, the Wu-Tang Clan is talking to us about making promises. You know bros before hoes, and all. I’m not sure, but I think this guy is threatening to kill me if I ever leave the Clan.
12 minute mark- I made a mistake in joining the Wu-Tang Clan through my TV. There are plenty of females, sure, but they’re all pre-pubescent girls. I’m not judging, but me, personally, I’m not into that kinda thing. There at least has to be grass in the field before I’m going to play ball, if you know what I mean. I’m not positive, but I think one of the members
just signed to me that this is R Kelly’s birthday party.
Hope these kids brought a raincoat …
Allegedly …
15 minute mark- There was a visit from NWA, which resulted in one of the Wu-Tang members getting hot coffee spilled on her back, and she was forced to go to the hospital. There will be retribution.
VENGENCE, I SAY!!
20 minute mark- There’s a duck. Singing “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands�. No, I’m actually serious about this.
27 minute mark- All the Wu-Tang Clan members are dead, and rather than throw my own life away in a futile effort to avenge people I met 20 minutes ago, I decided to go take a crap on the toilet.
If I had to give this a rating, I’d rate it 3 rap feuds out of 5.8762. It was entertaining, but that’s the last time I attend a shindig with R Kelly.
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