Real-Time Review: Cleopatra 2525

This show promised to be so horrifically awful as two merit not one, but two scathing reviews. The first one is as follows:

The Busboy:

8:45 p.m.

Some chicks on TV in bondage gear are exploring the Sistine Chapel, apparently, where some damn kids painted graffiti on the ceiling. Some bimbo uses her web shooter to fire up at the ceiling for no apparent reason. Chad informs me that “Hel� is played by the actress who played Zoe in Firefly. That’s nice and all, but why is she dressed up like a Bratz doll?

8:52 p.m.

The “actors� are apparently standing in front of a 1981 blue screen showing the ship from Flight of The Navigator. Awesome!

8:54 p.m.

The theme song is, as Dylan put it, a “bastardization� of the song “In the Year 2525�. You know the one, “In the yeeeeeeeeeear 2525 …�

9:00 p.m.

They’ve uncovered the titular “Cleopatra�, a woman from the year 2001 who was frozen in time after she had some bad anesthesia preceding breast augmentation surgery. I could not be more serious about this.

9:02 p.m.

I look up just long enough to see the Silver Surfer jump off of a cliff. Hopefully, Galactus will show up to destroy the planet soon.

9:08 p.m.

Cleopatra and the girls start to fight the Silver Surfer, whom they defeat by using one of the Proton Packs from Ghostbusters. If we’re lucky, we’ll have some Galactus and Zuul tag-team action. Sadly, however, the episode ends before we get to any world-ending action …

Overall, I’d give this episode 7 Eureka 7s out of 7. That’s to say that the show is, at best, derivative, and at worst, parts of it should be considered a hate crime against humanity.