Real-Time Review: MTAC

10:00 a.m.

The Buffet possee, now up and ready for action, begins to load up their respective vehicles and clear the room in time for checkout.

Not surprisingly, our car has much more loaded into it for the return trip than the trip to the convention, as we here at the Buffet are a bunch of consumer whores. Praise Capitalism!!

11:00 a.m.

The Chef and Sommelier have already left for panels on “Crossover Fans” (a panel for anime fans who are also sci-fi buffs) and a Kendo class/demo respectively, leaving the Maitre’D and I to go to the Dealer’s Room to buy more stuff, since there was still some light coming in from the rear window of my car.

Shopping at a convention, of course, is never a matter of finding something you want- it’s just knowing when to quit. We, of course, don’t (which, coincidentally enough, is why we don’t gamble- else, the Chef would have long since been reduced to drinking cheap whiskey in an abandoned parking lot after losing it all after putting his money on a “good feeling” he had about catching that last heart he needed for a flush on the River. I mean, he drinks cheap whiskey in abandoned parking lots, anyway, but that’s just because that’s where he puts all the dead hookers … um, allegedly, of course). We buy some more stuff from our good friends at The Anime Palace (who, by the way, always manage to give us some of the best deals at every convention we go to), including another one of those awesome looking XX Chromosome Angel figures from Evangelion.

12:00 p.m.

After leaving the dealer’s room, we go outside for a Jeet Kun Do demonstration that’s supposed to take place. Apparently, the gentleman who was running the Kendo class was also suppose to run this demonstration, but due to unforseeable events, the Kendo class ran over, so the Jeet Kun Do demo was cancelled. A shame really, since, as a member of Kungfutron, I happen to be something of an expert in Jeet Kun Do. Oh well, there’s always next time.

12:45 p.m.

After resting our convention-weary selves for a while, we decide to make one last pass at the Dealer’s Room. Have I mentioned that we are dirty, filthy consumer whores, and all of us have likely contracted some type of Capitalist form of veneral disease?

Praise Capitalism!!

1:30 p.m.

The Sommelier and I exit the Dealer’s Room and decide to visit our good friends from The Man Power. We thank them for being wonderful guests at MTAC, and as a show of their appreciation, decide to give us some Man Power swag. They also let us put some Chainsaw Buffet business cards at their booth and promise to take any remaining cards to their next show.

I see the beginnings of a beautiful friendship. Coming soon: The Man Power World Tour Presented by Chainsaw Buffet!

2:00 p.m.

Mercifully, the Dealer’s Room is now closed at this point, which is probably a good thing for the Maitre’D, whom my wife and I would have happily jettisoned if it meant I could squeeze that super mega 20th anniversary Voltron into my car without damaging it. Conveniently, the Dealer’s Room closing by 2:00 p.m. gave me just enough time to get in line for an autograph from Greg Ayres

2:40 p.m.

It’s my turn in line to get Mr. Ayres’ autograph, and as he is at every convention he goes to, he was very personable and fun to talk to. If you ever get the change to meet him at a convention, do it. He’s always really great to his fans, and we here at the Buffet appreciate that.

2:45 p.m.

I try to find a seat in the main event hall to catch a peek at Johnny Yong Bosch’s new movie “Broken Path”. Not surprisingly, the room was packed to capacity. I did stick around to watch a few minutes of it from outside the door, and what I did see was pretty kick-ass. I don’t typically do “Real-Time Reviews” of good movies, but I may have to make an exception in this case.

3:30 p.m.

If I’m guilty of anything in this blog, it’s not mentioning one of our biggest and best MTAC guests ever until this point: Kaiju Big Battle. They’ve been here the whole weekend spreading the word of the awesomeness that is giant monsters in wrestling matches, and generally firing up the crowd everywhere they go. The Sommelier and I take a few moments to get our DVD copy of “More Better Fighto” signed and thank them for making this year’s MTAc so very special. If you haven’t seen or heard of them until now, please check them out.

4:30 p.m.

Closing ceremonies begins. By this point, the Chef has already started his journey home, presumably to begin his plans for world domination anew. They announce the theme for next year’s convention: MTAC Ninja. I could not be more in favor of this. The Con Kitty also gives us a preview of her costume for next year, which can only be described as “hawtsome“. Also lots- I mean lots– of free swag if given away. A nice closing to an excellent convention.

Well done, MTAC- the Buffet salutes you.

5:30 p.m.

The annual “Fireside Chat” begins, where MTAC staff listens to requests and concerns for next year’s convention. Turns out the reason the rave ended more prematurely than Brett Favre’s retirement (allegedly) was due to the fact that someone elsewhere at the convention had overindulged themselves in something they weren’t of legal age to overindulge themselves in, so everything had to be closed down in the interests of safety. A shame really, since, as I mentioned earlier, the rave was a lot of fun if you weren’t a pompus douchebag or the Maitre’D (which may be a little redundent … allegedly).

6:30 p.m.

Some 23,607 “Time in a Bottle”s later, the Maitre’D, Sommelier, and I leave the convention site and begin our journey home.

7:45 p.m.

We stop to eat at the Cookeville Golden Corral. We here at the Chainsaw Buffet know a thing or two about buffets, and this one was excellent. Who can’t love a steak buffet? Terrorists, that’s who. Oh, and vegetarians, vegans, and/or hippies, I guess. Though I only have disdain for hippies and terrorists. And so help me, if I find a hippie terrorist, Kungfutron shall destroy them with their mystic martial arts powered fists of fury. And you can take that to the bank.

11:00 p.m. (EDT)

Finally, we have returned home to the Black City as changed people. Better people. And in my case, I’m not even sure I’m human anymore. I wonder if I can even call these “Real-Time Reviews” anymore, since I no longer exist in “real-time”. Oh well, that’s another question for another time. I have some Mario Bike, er … Kart to play …